By: Tracey McKenna
Milliken Mills High School

Sound… sound.. beep, beep.. heart monitor… gauze… wires, vomit … blood…

I woke up in a hospital bed with a pounding headache. A bit groggy, I tried to sit up. Bad idea. Instantly, pain shot through my body making my head pulse harder. I fell back into bed…

“Still invalid?” a voice from the other side of the room.

I turned my head quickly to see who it was… bad idea number two. It was as if lightening had struck my head and I was forced to lie straight again. The voice started to laugh. – Step closer, slightly louder –

“Here.” Someone was holding a plastic bag over my head. It smelled good, like fresh tomato soup. Funny, how I had enough sense to tell that the bag held food, but not enough to recognize the voice. I opened my mouth to speak, when a spoonful of soup entered. The warm liquid mixed with remnants of something else. I couldn’t taste very well yet, but I felt like I had thrown up. I coughed, but managed to swallow. A long sigh ensued from the delivering party. David! That’s who it was! My big brother. He stood over me, making me feel extremely small. I thought I was going to be sick again.

“Do you know where you are?” His voice sounded cold and distant, I could tell he was irritated.

Don’t shake your head, don’t shake your head! I mentally commanded.

“Mhff” An incoherent response came out. - Long sigh - . I hate long sighs, I’ll be sure to inform him when I feel better.

“Do you remember who you are?” I glared at him. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he said “do you remember how you got here?”

I honestly couldn’t remember much of anything at that moment; mainly ‘cause my head was pulsing so hard that it hurt to think. He put some Tylenol on the table next to my bed, before walking towards the window.

“What are we going to do with you?” he muttered.

He opened the window and pulled out a cigarette from his jacket pocket. I turned away, I hate it when he smokes, is that even allowed in a hospital? Probably not… but knowing David, he won’t care. He took a long drag and opened his mouth as if to say something. “Finish your soup, then take some Tylenol. I’m sure it will help after all your ‘partying’” I could hear the sarcasm dripping off his words. “When are you going to learn? You’re 15! You shouldn’t be out drinking at all hours of the night!”

So that’s what I was doing last night, no wonder my head hurt so much; but I still couldn’t figure out why I was in a hospital bed. He took another drag, and looked out the window whimsically. Then it hit me, last night I was drinking with Adrian; he’s been my best friend since forever so naturally I agreed to go. It was a house party where a bunch of us were playing a card game. The loser had to do shots. I’m not very good at cards, so naturally I ended up drinking the most. I couldn’t remember how many I did before I had to run to the washroom to throw up. I remember Adrian saying that he would drive us home, but I was pretty out of it. End of flash back. Okay.

 “What happened to Adrian?” I asked.

 David looked at me, arching an eyebrow before blowing another smoke ring outside.

“You got into an accident on the way home.”

I could feel whatever blood there was left in my face running dry.

That’s when I started to notice things; minor scratches and a couple of bruises on my arms and face. I hadn’t really thought anything of them, mainly cause I couldn’t really feel them before. If I actually thought about it, it would make sense that I didn’t know. I was in the back seat and wouldn’t have felt very much, especially when I was so out of it. But what happened to Adrian and the other guy sitting in the front?. What was his name? Oh, who cares, he’s not that important. But Adrian was. Adrian was the guy who always looked after me as a little kid; the guy who would let me stay over when my parents were having a fight; the guy who would make sure I didn’t starve when our house ran out of food; the guy who idiotically decided to drive me home when he was drunk. I turned my head back again.

 “Don’t worry, no one died.” David said.

I looked to him for another clue, but he just kept facing the window.

“I don’t get it,” he said. “Why would a nice normal kid like you go out drinking and pass out in the vehicle of a drunk driver.”

“It wasn’t my fault! They wanted to go out… I didn’t know.”

He smirked. “Idiot. Such a lame excuse.”

“Okay, fine, I’m an idiot, so what happened to him?”

He smiled and looked away. That’s just like my brother to tease me when I’m already feeling lousy. I sat there for a while my brother kept staring out the window.

I wondered why he was there. My brother moved out a year ago. He rarely talked to anyone in our family, except for me; who he deigned to call weekly to make sure I wasn’t dead. He’s just like that; responsible… but distant.

He took out another cigarette and looked at it before putting it away, walked back and sat down next to my bed as if to study me.

“He was thrown from the car.” - Pause – “Suffering from a few broken ribs and a broken leg, but he’ll be fine. I suppose that’s fine. He’s being charged with reckless endangerment and driving while impaired. Court date to be set.”

I sighed. At least he wasn’t dead.

David leaned back in his chair and studied the ceiling for a while.

“You know what’s funny. His car crashed half a block from our house. It wasn’t too far. Another thirty seconds and you guys would have made it home.”

I snorted and tried to sit up. It wasn’t as bad this time.

He smiled. “Thirty seconds beyond zero.”

I looked at him quizzically, I’d heard his say this before but had no idea what it meant.

“Safety to disaster in thirty seconds.”

“Sounds like an expression to describe me.”

“I guess you could say that.” David said, laughing. “The doctor said if you’re feeling better by noon, you can go home.”

I slumped back down and moaned. I didn’t want to face my parents yet, or the world either for that matter. David burst out laughing before roughing up my hair.

I smiled. Thinking – it would be another thirty seconds beyond zero if I stayed where I was now.

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